I don’t intend to be insensitive, with you being dead and all, but you kind of had it coming. I’m surprised you lasted 3 whole seasons. You’re nothing but a spoiled brat with a good heart and perfect body. However, you’ve left a pretty strong impression on me, so here’s your letter.
I was there for you when you fell in love with Ryan. I was there when you just couldn’t tell Luke you didn’t love him anymore and practically started a war between the water polo team and Ryan. I completely understood your need to look after the bad boys, the fuck ups, the mentally unstable. As I said, you had a good heart, but unfortunately this came with poor judgment.
Of all the characters in The OC, you seem to have had it worst. I mean, sure, Ryan got his ass kicked a lot, went to jail, got abandoned by his folks, but he kept it together. Even Seth handled all the mockery pretty well. You, however, had a sixth sense. You could smell drama. For you, every little incident was just the kick you needed to run off to the beach crying, drinking by yourself til you could barely stand and then getting in some kind of trouble you had to be rescued from. What? Your boyfriend just warned you about that mentally unstable guy who managed to become part of every minute of your life? NO WAY. He’s such a jerk. Let me just grab my Chanel purse and let’s drink ourselves to death in the filthiest bar we find.
Your life was every teenage attention whore’s dream. You had the most popular boyfriends, stalkers, a fucked up family and shitload of money that only got you in even more trouble. People almost killed themselves for you, how cool is that? But it was all kind of predictable. Like your lesbian phase, it was so predictable it almost hurt. In some way, your death was no surprising turn of events. You had to go, before the show turned into a soap opera version of Six Feet Under.
I suppose your little sister will take over the drama next season. Someone has to, and I don’t see anyone else capable of living up to your legacy. I just hope she’s more creative because the whole drugs & alcohol & bad boys act got old somewhere around the first season. Plus, now that you’re dead, she’s got just the right amount of emotional baggage to became The OC’s new drama queen.
Farewell, Marissa Cooper, you won’t be missed.